The Okonomiyaki Incidence
by Tomi Lang
Summary: Oneshot. So this is Kamui's story: Kamui Shiro finds himself sitting with Fuuma Monou in an okonomiyaki restaurant, and as the time passes by he becomes more and more irritated. Is the food really worth it? Kamui's POV. Rated T to be safe.


**~The Okonomiyaki Incidence~  
****A Kamui-made oneshot, from Kamui's POV**

_A/N: Don't kill me for not uptading in so long. I told you how slow I am when it comes to writing.  
Well, this is my real first oneshot on FF! Hurray~! I didn't expect writing one ever, because I hate writing them, but then suddenly the idea came into my mind after watching CLAMP in Wonderland 2 and I decided writing it.  
At the beginning and the end you can see that I'm talking about the Kamui of TRC, but it's mainly the one of X.  
Actually, this is a birthday present to my beloved friend, KamuFISH, who has her birthday this weekend. Happy birthday, Kamu! You'd always be my friend, even if you were born on January, April, June, Fubruary 29th, Adar B, Nisan, Sivan, Shaked Wiseman, Micael Kogen, or the amoeba year.  
__Some of the jokes in this oneshot were changed due to differences in grammar between my language and English. Sorry!_

I don't own X/1999 and its characters, and I don't own the vampire twins as well. CLAMP created and own them. If I owned them, everything would be boring... I think. After the end of the Tsubasa manga, I don't know anything anymore.  
I do, however, own the brunette who always calls Kamui by names, which is me. Her friends are based on mine, and they know I disclaim them.

Half-AU / Rated T / Humor, General / Kamui, Fuuma / No spoilers / Original idea by CLAMP / Oneshot by Tomi Lang

* * *

"_**Well, now's you turn~!" She lifted herself from a lying position to sitting, probably to look at me better. And I can't understand why someone like her, who can see almost everything, must move so much just to see me, who sits right in front of her. And I admit it's even annoying, because when I look at her she looks like she wants to eat me right here, right now. As if I'm some kind of fish.**_

_**At that moment I regretted even agreeing to join this idea, of every one of us around the bonfire telling a story. I can't tell any stories or describe something as good as the girls, and I could understand that they are all in the writing business for a very long time. But then I saw several pairs of anxious eyes staring at me, and I have to admit that those stares made me feel uncomfortable.**_

_**But what can I tell? I can't make up a plot just like that.**_

"_**Kamui", I heard suddenly Subaru's relaxing voice beside me. When I looked at him I could see in his eyes two things – his own expectation for a story, and a lot of worry I really didn't want to see. "It's just a game. Just improvise and tell about something you know, or someone you feel easy talking about. I'm sure you can do this". But I don't want to do this. I prefer going to somewhere else and forgetting about this stupid game, but I didn't like the expectation in my brother's eyes at all.**_

_**So I breathed deeply, and just hoped it'll go well.**_

"_**Well", I spoke. "Then my story is…"**_

_TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL_

So I'm sitting in a full loud okonomiyaki restaurant, and I'm looking around me, and I can see lots of familiar faces. Here, for example… well, what's her name? That annoying brunette who always calls me by names. She is sitting and chatting with that tall friend of hers, who likes to hug people, and with the curl-haired girl who is distractedly taking a napkin and sketching on it someone with a hat… me with a hat… me… Why am I even looking!?

"Hey, he looks like Kamui and Kobato's son", I hear the nuisance saying, and the curl-haired insisting that she's wrong. And why am I still listening? I really don't know.

And in front of me… oh, yes, **he** sits in front of me. He who's looking around in satisfaction, and is wearing reading glasses, and his brown hair is standing out to all of the directions too much. He who is noticing me looking at him, and is immediately looking at me back, smiling even more, and seeming satisfied even more… and it's disturbing.

And I didn't even **want** to come here. I didn't want to go and eat okonomiyaki. I was about to eat a silent calmed lunch with myself and think a little. But then Fuuma popped out the nowhere, and was all smiles and good mood, and asked me, "You want to go eat okonomiyaki with me?"

And I remained silent, because his glance was so profound, even behind his glasses, that I was sure he's about to pierce my eyes. I tried to say no, but then…

"**You want to go eat okonomiyaki with me**". And he said it with a smile, and it wasn't a question at all.

So I'm sitting in a full loud okonomiyaki restaurant, and I'm looking at Fuuma, and he's looking at me back, and his smile is so smiley and smilishly that I have no idea what is passing through is mind. On the other hand, with a smile like this one I'm not even that sure I want to know what is passing through his mind.

So I'm pretending I didn't see him looking at me, and I'm trying to think about the food which is about to arrive every minute, and about how in a short time I'll be full and calm.

I hope I'll be full and calm.

Because now, at this exact moment, this very specific moment… I'm hungry. And phew, I'm hungry. I can feel my stomach playing Twister with itself – right hand on red, left foot on yellow, left hand on yellow as well and right foot—

Kamui, stop thinking about it. I know you're hungry, but it's not a good enough reason to think about things like this.

"Kaaamuuuiiiii~" I hear Fuuma calling for me from the distance.

"Ah, what?" I blink. When did he talk to me?

"What are you thinking about?" And his glance made me want to be blind, and my stomach twist even more.

"Twister". I replied. Great, I'm that hungry. I'm trying to flex my stomach in hope it'll relax, but this idiot decided that this is the right time to complain.

So I'm sitting in a full loud okonomiyaki restaurant, and I'm hungry. And my stomach is yelling at me that it's hungry. And now my eyes, that can see what other people are eating, are hungry. And actually, when I think about that, even my ears are hungry.

Because I'm looking at the other table, and although the brunette eats **very slowly**, she declares she's full after two bites only. Maybe give me some? And did the curl-haired just wave me hello?

I think Fuuma just said something to me, but I'm now sure.

And maybe it wasn't such a bed idea… arrr… a **bad** idea. Because at the end of day Fuuma was plain nice and invited me to eat with him. Right? And I'm hungry anyway. Right? And after all, it's not that bad because Fumma is… umm… he was being nice. Yeah… he's just ni—

"You don't look well, Kamui. Maybe you should go to the toilet? Maybe I'll come with you?"

Fuuma is Fumma, but sometimes I just can't understand what is going trough his mind.

Who am I kidding? I **never **understand what is going through his mind. And what has passed trough his mind now? What the hell am I doing here? And why the heck is Fumma looking at me **like this**?

He's looking at me in a weird way, and is humming to himself, and it seems like he's enjoying himself a lot now...

Help?

_TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL_

Thank god the food is here. I was so hungry that my stomach quitted the Twister and starter playing 'Red Light / Green Light' with itself. But now, right in front of me a beautiful and ready to eat okonomiyaki rests, with sauce and toppings and what not.

Am I **that** hungry?

Spatula in one hand, a lot of appetite in the other one and…

Itadaki—

…

I can swear that two seconds ago my lunch sat on the table. Where is it?

Because… there was an okonomiyaki here. I'm sure of it. There was one… I…

Wait. Why is Fuuma sitting in front of me, all smiley and smilishly and satisfied and he his eating and chewing on his okonomiyaki all alone and…

My okonomiyaki!!!

Fuuma! Did you eat my okonomiyaki!?

Don't do this "ha?!"!!! I know it was you!!! You're all smiley and smilishly and you're eating!!!

And I really don't care that the spatula in my hand is shaking as if it's crazy, and I care even less that my eyes are wet. I was hungry! I'm still hungry!!! I want food!!! I…

You wicked thief!!! You—

Fuuma!!!!!!!!!!

I'm dying to slap him with my spatula. I'm slapping him with my spatula…

And before I can realize what happened, the restaurant is exploding. Literally.

Damn it. I'm hungry.

_TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL_

"_**What d'ya mean the annoying brunette who always calls you by names, eats slowly and declares she's hungry after two bites only!?" Was her first comment. The brunette, that girl who suggested that all of us will tell stories and that can see everything, and now she looks like she wants to prey on me. As if I'm two fish.**_

_**I smirked. "But it's true". Do you want to pour on me lemon as well?**_

_**And her curl-haired friend looks at me as if I fell from the moon. "You and Kobato have a child!?" She was about to burst into tears. "But what about Fuuma? Fuuma is your most precious person! Fuuma is you dearest! Fuuma!!!"**_

"_**Leave that for a moment". The tall girl said. "Kamui, are you hungry? Because your entire story is about food only".**_

_**There is something about what she said. I thought about that for a moment, and then realized that my brain really is thinking about food. Maybe chocolate… or pickles…**_

"_**Chocolate!?" The brunette yelled. "Pickles!?" Did I think about it out loud?**_

_**It was silent. Oh well, at least nobody said anything about how bad my story was…**_

"_**What are you!?" The brunette shouted suddenly. She approached me quickly and grabbed my shoulders tight. What, now she thinks I'm three fish!?**_

"_**Are you having a period!?" She called.**_

_**I… have… a period…? Period…? Period…?**_

"_**You know", I heard a voice from the distance. "Maybe he isn't having a period…"**_

_**I looked at the one who spoke, the curl-haired. She looked at me grinning, and suddenly I felt a terrible pain in my stomach, as if something bad is happening.**_

"_**Maybe he… is pregnant! And Fuuma is the father!!!"**_

…

_**WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?**_

* * *

I enjoyed writing this little piece of art, which was written within exctacly one hour. I let four people read this, including Kamu, and they all said I'm genius. Hurray!!

I just wonder, tough, what would Kamui himself think about it? Or Fuuma? Kamui sure would be embarrassed, ne?

Then, what do you think? I hope you like it. Please review and tell me what you think, because this is the best way to make a writer write even more. And even if you didn't like it, thank you for reading!


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